Re: DSM: public school prisons (sharing the SVS model, etc.)


The Booroobin Sudbury School (booroobin@squirrel.com.au)
Wed, 15 Nov 2000 08:04:44 +1000


Hi Marko,
I'm glad that you said that people "are able" to change their thinking.
Change though doesn't come easily to most people and society in general.
Its people who are are considering, and seeking change, and better still,
have arrived at the conclusion that freedom, respect, trust and the
empowerment of young people as equals is necessary for them to succeed as
adults who are most likely to enrol. The success of operating the School
and working through the issues as they arise, democratically will over time
encourage others to see the real value of the SVM.
Regards, Derek
The Booroobin Sudbury School
http://booroobinschool.squirrel.com.au
Ph/fax +61 07 5499 9944
----- Original Message -----
From: "Marko Koskinen" <marko@vapaus.net>
To: <discuss-sudbury-model@aramis.sudval.org>
Sent: Wednesday, November 15, 2000 2:16 AM
Subject: Re: DSM: public school prisons (sharing the SVS model, etc.)

> Rick,
>
> I think I know exactly what you mean. It is quite a frustrating task to
> do. I have been trying to sell the idea in the education markets here in
> Finland and I've come to a conclusion that you really shouldn't "try to
> sell" it. The most effective way to change people's thinking is to fully
> respect them and listen to them. You may first introduce some fresh
> ideas and then start listening. People usually can keep on telling you
> how wrong you are and how impossible your ideas are. You mustn't argue,
> just listen. It may take a while, but at least I've had some good
> experiences doing it.
>
> I've had much help from RC (Re-evaluation Counseling) for my efforts in
> listening to people. I have still much to do to be able to respect all
> people fully, but that's the goal.
>
> When people are respected and listened to, they will listen in turn and
> are able to change their thinking. But it must be you who must respect
> first because you want to change the thinking of the other person.
>
> Just as we must respect the children, we must respect and trust the
> adults too. Adults are no worse than children, they just have a bit more
> stuff inside their heads, and it takes a lot more respect and trust to
> change the thinking and behaviour of an adult than it takes for a child.
>
> I believe the NVC (Non-Violent Communication) is also a useful tool for
> finding new ways to communicate with "difficult people".
>
> Marko Koskinen
> Finland
>
> > This is very discouraging to me. I know you don't mean it to be. But
I've
> > found parents to be very difficult to reach when it comes to how they
relate to
> > their children, because that seems to be where they put all the
unresolved
> > problems and conflicts from their own childhoods. Lots of irrationality
and
> > knee-jerk response when you head into that area.
> >
> > If it's just a matter of spreading a new idea, that's not all that hard
to do.
> > But when the idea hits at the core of someone's existence and demands
them to go
> > through painful self-examination and change, it's no wonder that Mimsy
said that
> > parents who worried about their children in a Sudbury school were beyond
help.
> > It looks as if we're permanently limited to a small market.
> >
> > So in selling the idea of our new school, I can continually expect to
come up
> > against the irrational programming and "old stuff" type of issues in the
parents
> > I talk to? I hate the thought of just letting them go and looking for
the few
> > who are ready to have independent children. Any suggestions?
>



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