DSM: Adult interference

From: Liz Reid&Errol Strelnikoff (lizanderrol@home.com)
Date: Thu May 31 2001 - 14:43:10 EDT


Six-year-olds seem to like words like stupid. At least stupid has been
coming up in our world a lot lately. Aaron (6) says to brother Sasha
(4), "you're stupid!" Sasha wails,"I'm not stupid!" Mom (me) says,
"stupid, what a great word. S-T-U-P-I-D that's how you spell it. I'm
stupid, you're stupid, he's stupid, we're stupid, stupid, stupid,
stupid, stupid (sung to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic or any
other favorite tune.) "Shut up Mom!" both kids at once.

The word disapears from life for a few days. Little Colleen (5), a
friend, runs up to me, "Aaron called me stupid." Me: "Yes that is one
of his favorite words. It is spelled S-T-U-P-I-D and we often like to
sing songs with that word in it..." Song isn't sung as Colleen has
already lost interest and gone back to play.

Same incident happens at school a few days later involving different
kids. I don't know what is happening to these other kids after this,
but the word has run it's course in our lives. I wonder what word will
be next.

What an interfering adult I am. I could have played the role they
expected of me and they would still have been able to tease each other
with their great word and I, the angry adult telling them to stop, could
keep the fun going. Or if we were in a Sudbury School I could have
recommended that it go to the JC. Instead I took the fun out of it.
This must be the heighth of manipulation. I shall have to restrain
myself next time.

Liz

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